There is lots of information about the INFJ personality type out there. Yet some of their personality traits are not so obvious.
Some only close friends get to experience when the INFJ finally opens up. Others are often misinterpreted. Let’s start with this point first.
The INFJ Stare #
If you have ever looked an INFJ in the eyes, you may have felt as if they were reading your soul. This is not merely a stare; this is a detailed exploration of the depth of your existence.
An INFJ doesn’t just look, they observe. They seem laser-focused and their eyes show that they are trying to read you as deeply as possible. It’s not intrusive—it’s their way of seeing the reality behind the facade you’re putting on.
Do not squirm when you get this stare. Instead, lean in. They’re not judging you, they are tuning into your essence. Just show up honestly, and you’ll discover a unique relationship, one that is stabilizing and inspirational.
Obsessive Research #
INFJs become experts; they don’t dabble. When something piques their interest, they jump in feet first, devouring all of the information they can find. Their curiosity spans the past of a subject to its current realities, making them walking encyclopedias.
What’s the benefit? You have a treasure trove of wisdom at your fingertips if you are lucky enough to have an INFJ in your circle! Be it career advice, life hacks or an unexpected nugget of trivia, their expertise is always poised to inform your life.
Avoiding Phone Calls #
If your INFJ doesn’t pick up, don’t take it personally. For INFJs, phone conversations can be overwhelming and intrusive. They would rather communicate via texts or emails — channels that give them the time to formulate thoughtful replies.
When they are under stress, this tendency becomes more pronounced. Like a bear retreating to its cave, they thrive in solitude. By respecting this boundary, you are acknowledging their need for space, and also helping you two bond on a deeper level.
Getting Lost in Fantasy #
One of the things that never fails to captivate me about INFJs, is their phenomenal ability to be immersed in vibrant mental imagery. Not only are they listening to you tell them a story, but while they’re doing that, they’re painting every single detail in their mind’s eye, incorporating it into their complex inner world.
This habit can occasionally give the impression they’ve wended off into a daydream. They are, in fact, invested, internally working through what you’re saying on a deep level.
This deep vision isn’t escapism; it’s their way of knowing you and being with you. They’re building a mental image to more easily empathize with you and recall what you’ve said. When their eyes wander off into oblivion, they are focused on you.
So the next time a wayward INFJ stares blankly at you as you talk, remember they are actually all there, constructing a detailed universe of your story in their mind. Encourage their imagination — it’s one of the ways they can make sense of things and create meaningful insights and connections.
Writing Long Messages #
Sending one-liners isn’t the INFJ way. They write their messages with consideration; they are a thoughtful and intentional breed. When they trust you, their texts are longer, and laden with context and heart. Every word is selected to communicate completely what they’re thinking and feeling — it’s not wordiness, it’s conciseness.
They are extra careful in getting things right in what they write, so it can take a long time to get replies. This isn’t about procrastination; this is their dedication to depth and clarity.
Being a professional, they expect certain lingual etiquette and they appreciate when a lot of effort is put in their communication, whether verbal or non-verbal. Taking the time to read their thoughts carefully and respond with care also indicates that you value their honesty and care.
Resist the urge to skim their texts — dive in deep, and you’ll cultivate a connection founded on authentic insight and trust.
Disinterest in Small Talk #
Small talk? No, thanks. INFJs like to skip the small talk nonsense and instead get deep about dreams, values, and life’s big questions. The trivialities seem empty and exhausting to them. They just absolutely loathe small talk because their desire is to go deep into everything.
When they find themselves in a conversation about the weather or weekend plans, they may participate as politely as any person will, but they are unlikely to be reinvigorated by it.
They have an affinity for depth due to their intuitive nature. A theme for INFJs is a desire to explore subjects that challenge their minds and hearts at once. It ain’t just talking; it’s making real connections that can be meaningful.
Talk about philosophy, personal struggles, or even abstract concepts can energize them in ways small talk never will.
If you want to get an INFJ’s attention, bypass the small talk and exercise joviality; this will be a waste of your time because you won’t captivate our minds. What inspires them? What obstacles have they had to overcome?
When you care about who they are at the core level, you’ll get their best insights, and the connection will uplift you both.
Those moments that INFJs carve out for authentic conversation since they are so rare, are incredibly impactful for all those present.