INFJ is one of the 16 personality types in the Myer Briggs Type Indicator framework (MBTI). People with this personality type are often described as Advocates or Counselor. INFJ is rarest and most complex personality type. Why this is the case I will explain further below. But let us come first to the basics.
What does INFJ stand for? #
I - Introverted #
Introverted is often confused with being shy. While this can be the case it means something different. Introverted people get their energy from focusing inward. They like to spend time either alone or with very few people. Too much social interaction drains them. They look for deep and meaningful connection. In other words they value quality over quantity. One strong sign for that is that they don’t like small talk.
N - Intuition #
Some regard intuition as some sort of superpower. However there is no magic involved. Intuition means that you look at the bigger picture and are able to recognise patterns. That often makes you knowing things without consciously knowing them. It is their 6th sense so to say.
The founders of the MBTI chose N for intuition to avoid confusion with the other I which stands for Introverted.
F - Feeling #
INFJs are feeling without getting lost in their emotions. I will explain this in more detail below in the cognitive functions. In their very core INFJs are empaths who deeply care how their actions affect others. They have a strong desire for harmony and deep connection.
J - Judging #
In the MBTI framework judging means preferring structure, having a plan and following it. In other words it means making a decision and then following it. So it has nothing to do with making a judgement whether something is either good or bad.
The opposite of judging is perceiving. Here people focus on spontaneity and being totally flexible and open the changes a moment offers. INFJ are not like this. They have a high values and a vision of what they want to see in the world. They use their judgement to make this vision come true.
Now that you know the basic principles of the INFJ personality we can go one level deeper and have a look under the hood.
The so-called cognitive functions from Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung describe how our brain helps us understand and interact with the world. They support our ability to think, learn, remember, and make decisions.
Cognitive Functions #
To understand how a persons ticks you need to know the combination of these functions.
For INFJs the cognitive functions are in the order from strongest to weakest:
Ni - introverted Intuition #
INFJs have the ability to pick up even the smallest signals in their environment. For example this can be changes in the voice when someone talks or the way a person walks. The processing of these signals mostly happens on a subconscious level. This leads to having sudden insights like „aha moments“ without knowing how they came to a conclusion.
This reasoning is nonlinear. So it is not like on step of insight leads to the next consequential one. It is more like putting seemingly unrelated information from different perspectives together which then allows seeing the bigger picture.
The important part is that an INFJ’s intuition is coming from within. They operate from their strong inner world which makes them so complex beings. As a result others find it often hard to fully understand what is going on inside an INFJ. That’s also the reason why INFJ feel misunderstood so often.
Fe - extraverted Feeling #
INFJs are empaths at their very core. Their extraverted feeling is all about tuning into the feeling and needs of others. This makes them excellent counsellors and mediators but also a shoulder to lean and cry on.
They look for meaningful and deep connections and will often make all the others around them feel understood and cared for no matter what it takes to do.
The flip side is that INFJs often have weak boundaries and deplete their energy when putting other people’s needs over their own.
Ti - Introverted Thinking #
INFJs use introverted thinking to understand and make sense of their inner world. This helps them to sharpen their insights and draw more reliable conclusions.
Their inwardly directed thinking trusts on their own reasoning. This leads them to question facts when they don’t align with their personal understanding. The result is that they often think differently from others and as such come up with unique solutions or reasonings.
The flip side here is that INFJs tend to overthink and thus making their lives way harder than necessary.
Se - extraverted Sensing #
This is the weakest cognitive function of an INFJ. Extraverted sensing means being in the present moment and experiencing it with all senses.
INFJs can easily feel overwhelmed when they get too much input from their senses. This is because their introverted intuition is picking up the smallest details so they have to process far more information than others.
However INFJs can intentionally activate outwardly directed sensing. Sometimes a small detail grabs all their intention and fascinates them. That’s when they become hyper attuned and all the information they get from that to support their intuitive insights.
Why are INFJs so rare and unique? #
INFJs represent roughly 1.5% of the population. If all 16 MTBI personality types were distributed evenly then each would represent 6.25% of the population.
The first thing to know about a personality type is that you are not born with it. Your personality is formed in the first 4 years of your life and is a result of your genetics and environment.
Many societies value being extroverted, practical and thought focused and try to strengthen these features in their children. That is pretty much the opposite of what INFJ is about. Especially for men it could mean quite a burden to be feelers first and thinkers second.
Many INFJ tend to grow up in dysfunctional family systems. This partly explains why they are so strong in their highly sensitive and empathic nature. As children this often overwhelms them and they cope with this by shutting of their emotions.
They become head centred beings who value logic and sense over everything else. This escape route can sometimes work for decades. However at some point the pressure of all the suppressed emotions will be too big. Then that’s often when an INFJ cannot stand his life no more and falls into a deep crisis which helps to see his true core.
So one of the reasons INFJs are rare is that they mistype themselves. Their strong people skills will some of them make believe that they are extroverts. And when they actually learnt to neglect their emotions they see themselves is INTJ rather than INFJ.
Why are INFJ so complex? #
INFJs are often described as walking contradictions. They are feelers and thinkers. They are introverts but prioritise the well being of others over their own. They have a rich inner idealistic world yet they are not dreamers but use their thinking to make this world a better place.
While it is already difficult to make sense of these contradictions, their dominant intuitive intuition paired with extraverted feeling is often hard to grasp for others. How can they know things without knowing? What is going on inside them?
So if you put all these together it becomes clear that INFJs are rather hard to understand and make sense of. And for this reason they are the most complex personality type in the MBTI framework.
How Do You Know If You are an INFJ? #
After reading all this you may question yourself whether you or the person you were researching for is really an INFJ.
First of all, it does not actually matter that much. And secondly personalities types are not cast in concrete. People can change over the course of their lives. You often can see with elder people how they become softer, sweeter and more empathetic.
The MBTI framework helps a lot to find out who you are and how you are wired internally. It is very unlikely that you will go from introvert to extrovert. But it can well be that as an INFJ you learn to live a little bit more in the present moment and less in your inner world.
But coming back to the question. What are some other indicators for being an INFJ?
INFJs are usually well aware that they see the world differently. Part of this shows in yourself feeling misunderstood by others and not knowing how you could explain your reasoning any better. Often you know things as if they were more than obvious. It is a bit like seeing the bigger picture after putting pieces of a puzzle together and filling the blanks left with your reasoning.
Others may see you as an old soul. They may not use that exact term. But it could be that they think you are years older than you actually are independent from your looks. Also it could be that they see a bigger brother or father figure in you even when they are way older than you are. Some people may see a wisdom in you that you never thought you had. Again… you may think you are just mentioning the obvious and have no idea about the depths of the levels you operate on.
It could even be that some people see in you an angel. That connects to the wisdom mentioned above but also to a very warm nature. INFJs often have this vision of a better world where people live together in peace and harmony. To them it is important to contribute to that vision even if they are not conscious about it yet. But it shows on how you interact with others.
So if others see in you more wisdom and warmths that you are aware of… chances are high that you are an INFJ.